This lady is a national writer and is on most major news-gathering sites...please write and respond to her, let's show her how many of us there are who are not, in fact, somewhere between "odd and morally wrong" and that us having additional partners no more lets someone into our lives than it would a mono person...
news.yahoo.com/s/dear_mar...ztpLv6s0NUE
DEAR MARGO: I am a very happily married woman with a problem: well-intentioned friends and family. My husband and I are polyamorous and not ashamed of it. We have wonderful girlfriends who are special and a part of our family. The problem is that people assume we are on the verge of divorce, etc. Other than an indelicate "Butt out," is there any way to get them to see that we are really happy and stable? We've been married for five years.
--- HAPPILY POLY
(For square readers like me who might need a trip to the dictionary, I will save you some time. "Polyamorous" is the name for multiple sexual relationships within marriage -- in this case involving both spouses.)
DEAR HAP: You may not be ashamed of it, but you have to know that this arrangement would strike most people as being somewhere between odd and morally wrong, it being quite far from the norm. I am not sure why you felt the need to breeze it around that you and your husband have "wonderful girlfriends."
Because you have, however, essentially invited people to "butt in," you are a little bit stuck in terms of asking them to butt out. I guess the only way to prove yourselves happy and stable is for you two to continue to thrive with your, uh, wonderful girlfriends.
news.yahoo.com/s/dear_mar...ztpLv6s0NUE
DEAR MARGO: I am a very happily married woman with a problem: well-intentioned friends and family. My husband and I are polyamorous and not ashamed of it. We have wonderful girlfriends who are special and a part of our family. The problem is that people assume we are on the verge of divorce, etc. Other than an indelicate "Butt out," is there any way to get them to see that we are really happy and stable? We've been married for five years.
--- HAPPILY POLY
(For square readers like me who might need a trip to the dictionary, I will save you some time. "Polyamorous" is the name for multiple sexual relationships within marriage -- in this case involving both spouses.)
DEAR HAP: You may not be ashamed of it, but you have to know that this arrangement would strike most people as being somewhere between odd and morally wrong, it being quite far from the norm. I am not sure why you felt the need to breeze it around that you and your husband have "wonderful girlfriends."
Because you have, however, essentially invited people to "butt in," you are a little bit stuck in terms of asking them to butt out. I guess the only way to prove yourselves happy and stable is for you two to continue to thrive with your, uh, wonderful girlfriends.
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Seattle
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Re: Ack! Poly-negative response from Dear Margo (X-Post)
Mon, November 5, 2007 - 6:21 PMI didn't find this to be a Poly-negative response at all.
Margo did not condemn the couple, or say that she thought they were "odd and morally wrong",
she said, "... you have to know that this arrangement would strike most people as....." which is just a statement of reality. It's true, MOST people would think that the arrangement is *at least* "odd".
Margo does seem to make a leap that the couple "felt the need to breeze it around that" they had "wonderful girlfriends", as opposed to the couple just not bothering to hide it.
So while I will agree with you that the response was NOT pro-poly, for a national columnist, it's remarkable that a) she printed the letter AT ALL, and the b) she was not judgemental and preachy about it.
Malcolm -
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Re: Ack! Poly-negative response from Dear Margo (X-Post)
Fri, November 9, 2007 - 8:55 AMI'm with Malcolm on this one. I didn't read any poly-bashing at all. Maybe it's that I just retired from my morning yoga routine and am blissed out, but I got that Margo is new to this idea of polyamory, and has quite worked it out for herself.
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